When i last wrote, i was making my way out of Dakar. At least that’s what i thought until i wasn’t! The flight that was to take me out of Senegal on the Wednesday turned out to be full and so i ended up staying yet another day. But i learnt this: that when we (human beings) are disappointed long enough, we learn not to care anymore about the outcome. Shall i explain?
I’m reading this stunning, super sad book by Vargas Llosa who i have decided is honestly a genius (and he was awarded the nobel prize in 2008 so clearly, “the world” knows about his genius! Duh?). In “The Feast of the Goat”, several of the characters are taken to torture chambers and something always happens in them – at some point, when the torture has gone on too long and is so extreme, they reach a point where they honestly stop caring. You can burn them; beat them; tear them apart and they couldn’t care anymore; resistance first, then a complete giving up of the mind, heart and spirit.
So how does this link to me? (Stay with me. Stop rolling your eyes!) There’s a seemingly natural human response to constant disappointment; at some point, when things just refuse to unfold as we hope, we reach a “give-up-point” where we honestly couldn’t care less what happens. When they informed me yet again that i wouldn’t be flying out, my heart did a “give-up”. “Take me whenever is most convenient for you!”
But, i snapped out of that, kicked into determination mode again and stood there at the airline office until i got my confirmed ticket for the next flight out to Cape Verde and with that in hand, I went back to the swanky-funky hotel that the airline was housing me and this time, asked for a room with an ocean view! I put my feet up and relaxed into the moment. The ocean was beautiful; the pool was breath-taking; the views had my heart. The next day, i finally left.
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and now i am in cape verde where i have been for a few days now and i will be writing from here…
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love, love, m
this trip for work (UCD Network) is made possible in part by Art Moves Africa.
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